November 15, 2005
On becoming the newest woman of Reality TV! Sorry you didn’t make the Top 10 List, but I think you deserve at least an honorable mention!
Actually, Gabbie has always been a woman – she just had the unfortunate experience of being born with a penis. But, as chronicled on the Sundance Channel series TransGeneration, the young lady formerly known as Andrew traded that pesky appendage for her very own vagina, and for some inexplicable reason I can really relate to her struggle. Don’t you agree, Karen? It must be the bond of womanhood that we ladies share.
You go girlfriend!
October 24, 2005
Top 10 Ladies of Reality TV
One thing (and there aren’t many) that I actually like about TAR: Family Edition is that the women are doing so well this time! I hate to admit it, but in past seasons, the men have kicked the ladies butts. No female duo has ever placed in the top 3, but there have been plenty of all-male winning teams.
However, this season, girls rule! We’ve seen four episodes so far, and the first-place finishers in every leg have been majority-female teams! First were our beloved pink ladies, followed by the Weavers and then the Bransens (x2).
In honor of the woman-dominance this season, I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 ladies of reality TV (besides us, of course!), as ranked by a very scientific method which uses advanced statistical modeling – far too complicated for me to explain here. You’ll just have to trust me!
UPDATE: Karen posted her Top 10 Men of Reality TV list!
10. Meredith & Gretchen Smith (The Amazing Race 7)
I could never remember which one was Meredith and which one was Gretchen. One of them is definitely a man though – they aren’t a lesbian-grandma couple, as I once suspected. Anyway, I’m talking about the one with the bloody head. She was quite the fighter, and her inappropriate sexual comments always amused me.
9. Frenchie Davis (American Idol 2)
She was only onscreen for about 3 episodes, but she definitely deserves a spot in the top ten. Frenchie has an amazing voice, better than any other contestant from any season of American Idol, IMHO. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), she was silently booted from the show between episodes because of a little "porno" incident. I put "porno" in quotes because I think that’s overstating it a bit. Besides, I like the fact that she has gynormous boobs and isn’t afraid to show them off! You go girl!
8. Charla Pihlstrom (Paradise Hotel)
This young waitress from Minnesota wasn’t particularly talented or outrageous or even interesting, like the rest of the top 10. But she managed to survive week after week in “Paradise,” despite the best efforts of all of the crazy psychos on that show (see #5, for example) to get rid of her. And, when she was given the choice between keeping her “ultimate prize” of $250,000 and splitting it with her partner, Dave, she made the obviously correct decision and kept it all for herself. Smart girl!
7. ??? (American Idol 2)
I can’t remember her name, but she has a pretty voice. And she looks a little bit like K.D. Lang.
6. Alison Irwin (Big Brother 4/The Amazing Race 5)
OK, I know a lot of you aren’t going to agree with me on this one. Alison was “the villain” on Big Brother 4. She was opinionated, conniving, and lied to almost everyone. But she was a master of manipulation and deception – flirting with Nathan and getting him to save her from eviction, then voting him off when he was nominated! And telling the other cast members that she thought he was gay! A secret alliance with Jun carried these two ladies to the finale, where, unfortunately all of the jury members voted against Alison except for one. Can you guess who? Gay Nathan, of course! Oh yeah, she was also on The Amazing Race with her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend Donny. They spent two whole episodes screaming at each other before the abrupt end of Alison's return to reality TV.
5. Toni Ferrari (Love Cruise/Paradise Hotel)
“YAHTZEE!!!” / “GAME ON!!!”
Yeah, I hated her too, but her stupid quotes were almost as priceless as her crazy bug-eye faces.
4. Julie Chen (Big Brother Host)
The perpetually fascinating host of Big Brother had to be included in the top 10. From her eclectic fashion choices to her truly unique stage presence, Julie continues to amuse and amaze us summer after summer. I think this little video montage by our friends at TVgasm truly says it all.
3. Stephenie LaGrossa (Survivor Palau/Survivor Guatemala)
Stephenie is probably the most popular Survivor ever, and deservedly so. This girl is smart, athletic, and cunning, and if she didn’t have the immunity-challenge-curse hovering over her week after week, I’m sure she would have been the Sole Survivor in Palau. Fortunately, CBS gave her another chance in Guatemala, and despite some fans turning against her for her “whining” this season, I still think she’s awesome. Plus she has crazy eyebrows that never move!
2. Darlene Cahill (Wickedly Perfect)
I know 99% of you are saying, “Darlene who?” I think that Wickedly Perfect may have been the least watched show ever. I’m not sure why, because it was SO GOOD! I guess you all must have had better things to do Fridays at 8:00, but you really missed out. The main reason it was so great – this woman. She is too awesome for words. She whipped up a spread of eight different delicious appetizers in the time it took the other team to make one pot of soup. I don’t think she ever sleeps. And she is better than everyone at EVERYTHING. If she was a candidate on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, she would mop the floor with everyone. Unfortunately, on Wickedly Perfect, the cast voted each other off the show, and not surprisingly, she was booted precisely because she was better than everyone else.
1. Janelle Pierzina (Big Brother 6)
“Bye Bye Bitches!” ‘Nuff said.
If you disagree with me, or think I left anyone out, post a comment!
September 28, 2005
A perfect, pink finish
Linda, what are you doing in that picture, and why are you the only one wearing blue? Whoops, sorry! That's Michelle Godlewski, but boy what a doppelganger she is! I think it's fate, really, Linda... They've come to pick up where we left off! Not that I would feel good about having some other team break our record, but wouldn't it be neat to have some ladies win the $1 million?
I wish I could root for the Weavers since they are almost all ladies plus they survived that horrible buggy accident, but first of all, the 14-year-old son is just too much of a ringer, and more importantly, I can't with good conscience root for someone who doesn't recognize one of the 50 states (especially if she is driving into it).
So, go go go Godlewski girls!! (I must admit I've selected the Gaghans for my fantasy team next week... I don't know why, I just have a feeling about those overly cultured marathon runners.)
That's all from me this week, but make sure to look at the funny pictures we saved from the show after the jump!
What crazy gals!
Yes, Mrs. Weaver. Pennsylvania is a state.