October 24, 2005

Linda Ruiz

Top 10 Ladies of Reality TV

One thing (and there aren’t many) that I actually like about TAR: Family Edition is that the women are doing so well this time! I hate to admit it, but in past seasons, the men have kicked the ladies butts. No female duo has ever placed in the top 3, but there have been plenty of all-male winning teams.

However, this season, girls rule! We’ve seen four episodes so far, and the first-place finishers in every leg have been majority-female teams! First were our beloved pink ladies, followed by the Weavers and then the Bransens (x2).

In honor of the woman-dominance this season, I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 ladies of reality TV (besides us, of course!), as ranked by a very scientific method which uses advanced statistical modeling – far too complicated for me to explain here. You’ll just have to trust me!

UPDATE: Karen posted her Top 10 Men of Reality TV list!

10. Meredith & Gretchen Smith (The Amazing Race 7)
I could never remember which one was Meredith and which one was Gretchen. One of them is definitely a man though – they aren’t a lesbian-grandma couple, as I once suspected. Anyway, I’m talking about the one with the bloody head. She was quite the fighter, and her inappropriate sexual comments always amused me.

9. Frenchie Davis (American Idol 2)
She was only onscreen for about 3 episodes, but she definitely deserves a spot in the top ten. Frenchie has an amazing voice, better than any other contestant from any season of American Idol, IMHO. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), she was silently booted from the show between episodes because of a little "porno" incident. I put "porno" in quotes because I think that’s overstating it a bit. Besides, I like the fact that she has gynormous boobs and isn’t afraid to show them off! You go girl!

8. Charla Pihlstrom (Paradise Hotel)
This young waitress from Minnesota wasn’t particularly talented or outrageous or even interesting, like the rest of the top 10. But she managed to survive week after week in “Paradise,” despite the best efforts of all of the crazy psychos on that show (see #5, for example) to get rid of her. And, when she was given the choice between keeping her “ultimate prize” of $250,000 and splitting it with her partner, Dave, she made the obviously correct decision and kept it all for herself. Smart girl!

7. ??? (American Idol 2)
I can’t remember her name, but she has a pretty voice. And she looks a little bit like K.D. Lang.

6. Alison Irwin (Big Brother 4/The Amazing Race 5)
OK, I know a lot of you aren’t going to agree with me on this one. Alison was “the villain” on Big Brother 4. She was opinionated, conniving, and lied to almost everyone. But she was a master of manipulation and deception – flirting with Nathan and getting him to save her from eviction, then voting him off when he was nominated! And telling the other cast members that she thought he was gay! A secret alliance with Jun carried these two ladies to the finale, where, unfortunately all of the jury members voted against Alison except for one. Can you guess who? Gay Nathan, of course! Oh yeah, she was also on The Amazing Race with her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend Donny. They spent two whole episodes screaming at each other before the abrupt end of Alison's return to reality TV.

5. Toni Ferrari (Love Cruise/Paradise Hotel)
“YAHTZEE!!!” / “GAME ON!!!”
Yeah, I hated her too, but her stupid quotes were almost as priceless as her crazy bug-eye faces.

4. Julie Chen (Big Brother Host)
The perpetually fascinating host of Big Brother had to be included in the top 10. From her eclectic fashion choices to her truly unique stage presence, Julie continues to amuse and amaze us summer after summer. I think this little video montage by our friends at TVgasm truly says it all.

3. Stephenie LaGrossa (Survivor Palau/Survivor Guatemala)
Stephenie is probably the most popular Survivor ever, and deservedly so. This girl is smart, athletic, and cunning, and if she didn’t have the immunity-challenge-curse hovering over her week after week, I’m sure she would have been the Sole Survivor in Palau. Fortunately, CBS gave her another chance in Guatemala, and despite some fans turning against her for her “whining” this season, I still think she’s awesome. Plus she has crazy eyebrows that never move!

2. Darlene Cahill (Wickedly Perfect)
I know 99% of you are saying, “Darlene who?” I think that Wickedly Perfect may have been the least watched show ever. I’m not sure why, because it was SO GOOD! I guess you all must have had better things to do Fridays at 8:00, but you really missed out. The main reason it was so great – this woman. She is too awesome for words. She whipped up a spread of eight different delicious appetizers in the time it took the other team to make one pot of soup. I don’t think she ever sleeps. And she is better than everyone at EVERYTHING. If she was a candidate on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, she would mop the floor with everyone. Unfortunately, on Wickedly Perfect, the cast voted each other off the show, and not surprisingly, she was booted precisely because she was better than everyone else.

1. Janelle Pierzina (Big Brother 6)
“Bye Bye Bitches!” ‘Nuff said.

If you disagree with me, or think I left anyone out, post a comment!

Posted by Linda Ruiz in Womanspace on October 24, 2005 12:51 PM



Posted by: Whatevia at October 24, 2005 2:29 PM

I considered including Omarosa. But after The Surreal Life, I didn't want to contribute to extending her "15 minutes" by even a millisecond.

Posted by: Linda at October 24, 2005 2:34 PM

Hell yeah Janie at number 1. You got that right! What's that? What do I think of the rest of the list? Who cares. Number 1 is what matters and you got that down perfect!

Posted by: Lisa at October 25, 2005 4:54 AM

I think Stephanie should be number 2 not 3, only because you're right - I never heard of your number 2. I agree with number 1, no one else but Janie can fill that spot!!

Posted by: Sky at October 26, 2005 12:40 AM

Janelle at #1? Are you serious? Is that because she's new and the flavour of the month? If people didn't hate her hateful opponents so much she'd be a minor footnote in Reality TV history. She just looked good in comparison. I can see her at number 9 or 10, but no way does she deserve a number 1 spot.

Posted by: Sarah at October 26, 2005 2:55 PM

Thank God someone finally agreed that to give Omarosa one more second of attention would just be adding fuel to her fire. Let's pray her fire is finally being put out. What a pretentious undeserving disgusting misguided idiot she is.
Thanks..also I totally agree about Toni Ferrari too, love to hate her...lol

Posted by: Deana Garcia at October 26, 2005 2:57 PM

Janelle ROCKS! I agree with her being #1. Steph should be #2 or even sharing #1.

THOSE 2 WOMEN were GREAT! Smart, witty, charming and all out great competitors. Oh yeah they aren't bad to look at either.

They both show women in a great light, unlike Toni or Omarosa who are the epitomy of cattiness and self delusion.

Why didn't you place y'all up there? The bowling moms will always be one of my favorite teams on TAR!

Posted by: Genna at October 26, 2005 3:47 PM

I love it! Janelle is fabulous at #1, and count me in as a devoted viewer of Wickedly Perfect. At first Darlene annoyed me, but she grew on me and I'm in complete awe of her energy. If she were on MS: Apprentice, I might actually watch it.

And thanks for not including the Overexposed O-one.

Posted by: Valerie at October 26, 2005 4:12 PM

There all GREAT! Janie forsure number one.:) Good job!!!

Posted by: Mjay at October 26, 2005 10:32 PM

I am so excited that I finally found someone that felt the same way about Darlene Cahill as I did! I was so angry when she was voted off of Wickedly Perfect that I screamed!!!! I couldn't stand the winner, who was voted off and should have stayed voted off! I didn't get so angry with a reality show until Big Brother 6 this summer. Janie rocks! Maggie sux! That one liked to have killed me. I just have to quit being so vested in these reality shows!

Posted by: Angel at October 27, 2005 12:55 AM

I loved Darlene, until I saw this list, I forgot about that show, and whatever happened to the person who actually won on that show. I have heard no more about her.....Great list.

Posted by: CATHY at October 27, 2005 9:15 AM

Great list! You ladies rock!!!

Posted by: Rhonda at October 27, 2005 2:32 PM

Darlene was great. I'm not too sure she should be up that high though. Same with Julie. Charla from TAR i think should have been on this list. IMO. Great list though!

and Gretchen is the name of #10 ;)

Posted by: Ken at October 27, 2005 5:10 PM

You got it right. Janelle definitely deserves the No. 1 spot. She was an awesome player and I hope they bring her back for a BB All-Star's.

Posted by: Rhonda A at October 27, 2005 9:22 PM

I agree completely with number one...Janelle earned every second of attention she gets from now on by just being herself..though I think the girl was already going far w/o BB!! I also think Stephanie should be second...the girl just rocks and though I haven't seen the show yet (now you've got me curious so I'm gonna hunt for downloads!! LOL) I just can't imagine ANYONE else deserving second to her. She's fierce, and I'm gonna get pretty upset if her fire goes out!!

Yes, and thanks again for NOT including Omorosa!! Her time on Trump was too much time!! Where was the man's head in the first place??? I nearly died when he let ALL of them in the board room go tonight!! THAT'S a good one for top ten MOMENTS of Reality TV history!! LOL

Posted by: Lin at October 28, 2005 6:49 AM

I second and third the thank you for not including Omarosa. For that matter thank you for not including Trishelle.

Posted by: Wendy at October 30, 2005 3:34 AM

No way is that bitch, Janelle number 1. Shouldn't be in list at all!!!!

Posted by: crazy1lady at October 30, 2005 5:37 AM

Janelle, #1. Definitely on a mistake on that one! Steph should have been #2 though. IMHO, didnt watch the show Darlene was on, oh wait, yes, I watched it once, but it didnt hold my interest.

Posted by: Michelle at November 1, 2005 12:20 AM

Has anyone realized that #7 Clay Aiken is actually a guy? I don't know if you were joking when you said that SHE has a pretty voice. He's a HE.

Posted by: BHayes at November 1, 2005 5:45 AM

Wow, #7 is really a guy? You're very perceptive, thanks so much!

Posted by: Linda at November 1, 2005 10:19 AM

Charla from Amazing Race. She gives new meaning to the phrase little people. She is strong, athletic and willing to try anything.

Posted by: Arlene at November 1, 2005 4:33 PM

So, wait is #7 a guy or a girl????? I'm all like confused (DUH!!!!!) I do have to mention that my #1 lady of the moment is ALLA, the russian diva from the Apprentice (Donald's, not Martha's). That lady got looks, brains, and balls (oh yeah, and AMAZING fashion sense).

[click my name below for the link!]

Posted by: LindasNumberOneFan at November 2, 2005 5:42 PM

I think you may have to add Momma Paolo to your list(in place of #7 perhaps). I love Janie, you are spot on with that one!!

Posted by: Colleen at November 2, 2005 7:12 PM

Janie is #1!! Steph should be #2, though! And about #7, LOVE the sarcasm! Some of us DID get it!

Posted by: Alison at November 3, 2005 3:45 PM

Janelle Pierzina is not only a great reality celebrity, but she's an amazing person in real life. I 100% agree with you that she's number one. Stephanie is a close 2nd in reality tv, but I've only watched her on Survior.

Omarosa, who! I TRY to forget.

Posted by: Joely at November 5, 2005 12:18 AM

Ooh. I think Joyce from AR deserves to be there. Besides winning the dang thing, she proved she was a tough yet compassionate lady.

Steph LaGROSSa. yuck.
A list of better choices over her:
Survivor Outback
Tina-- tougher than Steph. No whining, and she WON.
Elisabeth-- more lovable than Steph.
Amber--winner of all-star survivor, 2nd place finish amazing race, wedding reality show. She knows how to stretch 15 minutes...
Survivor Marquesas
Kathy-- Steph doesn't have the heart to pee on ANYone.
Survivor Vanuatu
Julie-- she didn't win, but she got the MAN.
Survivor Palau
Katie-- cuter, and funnier and meaner. :)
Survivor Guatemala
Amy-- just. plain. tougher.

Clay was an inspired addition! :D

Posted by: susie at November 5, 2005 9:52 AM

You obviously don't watch any of the reality ahows on MTV... >='-((

Posted by: Byrona at November 5, 2005 7:01 PM

Janelle is number 1 for sure!!! Cant wait to see what she`ll be up to next!

Posted by: Joyce at November 5, 2005 7:22 PM

I loved Clay and Frenchie. But as long as Clay can't be on that list because he is a man, I am really glad that anybody from AI went on.

Posted by: Stephanie at November 7, 2005 7:55 PM

I love Charla! she's the most beautiful girl in paradise hotel

Posted by: Ira at December 29, 2005 9:34 AM

I think Erin Brodie from FOR LOVE OR MONEY 1 & 2 deserves a strong position in that chart...she was one smart fox!

Posted by: Funny at May 6, 2006 3:33 AM

Janelle!!!!!!#1For sure and Stephanie should be #2 and who cares about the rest, but I do think Charla was an awesome racer in TAR

Posted by: Sue Ann Joslin at October 8, 2006 8:43 AM

Your number 7 is a man. Does the name Clay Aiken ring a bell ? I agree with you as he does remind me of K. D. Lang . But why did you put him on the womens list ? I have included the URL to the Clay Maniacs website for your reading pleasure.

Posted by: swfnottwiggy at January 13, 2007 9:27 PM