March 8, 2006

Karen Heins

Farewell tall ladies

Hey everybody! Since Linda's TiVo is broken, I'm going to write the recap this week, but I'm afraid I won't have all her hilarious screen caps, so just bear with me.

"Lisa, ah just peed mah paaaants. No, ah reeealy deeeud."

First I want to say how excited I am about this season of The Amazing Race! The first two episodes have been thrilling, making the contestants first traverse a huge, traffic-choked city and then dive directly into the wilderness. And next week they will have their first mind-numbing equalizer roadblock that involves searching through hundreds of Russian nesting dolls! I can't wait for that one. Perhaps they will also have to eat some very spicy Russian soup as well.

But back to last night's episode!

It was a very physical day for all the teams, leaving most of them more exhausted than Fran's brain after trying to put together that motorcyle for hours last week. Some teams took a slightly easier road at the Detour by distilling ethanol from sugar cane using traditional scientific devices. Of course self-proclaimed "Nerds In Love" David and Lori got a real charge out of that challenge, with David even remarking that he did that exact experiment in science class. These two have tickled me since the beginning... It's nice to see young people so unafraid of professing their feelings for one another. It's almost as heartwarming as hearing hippies BJ and Tyler say "hot dog" every two seconds.

"Oh David, this reminds me of how we met! Except the crank was a little smaller and we were in Kansas..."

The only other teams to refine the sugar cane were mother/daughter team Wanda and Desiree and the "Glamazons" (my personal favorites!) Lisa and Joni. Both the Nerds and the mother/daughter finished well, but somehow the Glamazons fell behind. They had major car trouble and navigational problems, and I think that contributed to their falling into last place. At least Joni didn't pee herself this week like she did last episode after disembarking from the helicopter in Sao Paolo.

Even if the science experiment put the two glamorous ladies into last place, it was probably a wise choice judging by the physical challenge, which was basically a repeat of the challenge where I lost the Race for Linda and myself in Season 5. It involved scaling a cliff using a device called an "ascender," which requires both upper and lower body strength, plus a good deal of coordination and stamina. I actually couldn't bear to watch parts of it, especially when Senior Fran was struggling with the technique and it looked like her leg might pop right off. I had to stare down into my Cherry Coke and force back tears. If only...

Come on Karen!!! CLIMB!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! CLIMB!!!!!!!! Oh, shoot.

Fran did eventually make it to the top of the cliff (just like I did!) and her husband Barry didn't exactly sprint up after her. They were both worried about being eliminated, and I was too, having grown to like both of them over the last two weeks. However, somehow the Glamazons managed to finish after them and were eliminated. It will always remain a mystery to me exactly how they managed to be so slow, but at least they finished ahead of the annoying gays last week. I did enjoy hearing John standing in the streets of Sao Paolo manically yelling "No one wants to help us!!" But only for one episode.

As for Lisa and Joni, I am sorry to see the only all-older-lady team go. I guess Linda and I will have to pin our hopes on either Wanda and Desiree, who are great competitors and also speak Spanish, which is a big help; or on Dani and Dani, who wear matching outfits, and that is perhaps the truest way to our hearts. However, those two need to watch it and try not to act like huge skanks or they may lose our endorsement.

"Evuh since ah first saw theeus show, ah wanted to do theeus." Poor Lisa... at least you didn't go out trying to scale an impossibly tall sheer face of rock with your disappointed partner looking on.

Posted by Karen Heins in Recap corner on March 8, 2006 11:14 AM


Welcome back Karen!!! We hardly heard from you last season, maybe you were bored shitless like the rest of us. But this season, as you said, is off to a grand start!

Posted by: Gail at March 9, 2006 4:23 PM